Ravi

He walked in a world he could never be a part of.

How could he be? The world was real, and he wasn’t. Real things made a difference. Real things had a choice. Real things could feel.

The only thing Ravi ever felt was cold.

He pulled the jacket tighter against the chilled night breeze and turned onto Cedar Avenue. Surveying the strip of bars, tattoo parlors, liquor stores, and vape shops that lined both sides of the sprawling street, he cataloged its name in his brain. He would have to remember how to get here in the future.

Another new city. Another new spot to call his second home.

Another new school, he lamented, grimacing at the unwelcome thought. Maybe in a couple months, I’ll actually bother to learn its name.

Without changing his stride, he eased to the edge of the sidewalk to let an approaching homeless man lumber past. The pungent stench of urine launched an assault on Ravi’s nostrils, but he didn’t flinch away, didn’t hold his breath. He kept his eyes fixed on the man’s trembling hands, ignoring their silent plea to be filled while making sure they didn’t fill themselves with the contents of his jacket pocket.

“P-please,” the man stuttered.

Ravi breezed past the man, as insubstantial as the wind ruffling his black hair.

He glanced across the street at two women huddled against a blinking lamppost. The strips of material around their hips—he assumed they were supposed to be skirts—and sheer, patterned stockings that painted their legs offered no protection against the brisk air.

Their side of the street was empty, and Ravi considered crossing over to have more space for himself. He took a step off the sidewalk, and the shorter of the two women caught his gaze.

A siren’s smile flashed across her face as she pushed away from the post to strut in his direction. “Hey,” she called, her eyes dancing away from Ravi to scan their surroundings.

Showing no signs of hearing her, Ravi gazed past the woman to a blob of darkness lurking in the alleyway behind her friend. It was attached to the side of a Check Cashing store, blending in with the night shadows. At first glance, it appeared to be part of the building, but Ravi could make out the faint outline of crossed arms and a pair of long legs sticking out from what he deduced to be a trench coat.

It took less than a second for his mind to run through a string of scenarios that would play out if he crossed to that side of the street; all of them ended with his money in that shadow’s hands. It either got there with a pleasured smile on his face or a sharp knife in his gut, but either way, it would get there.

He readjusted his steps and continued on his original path.

You have to go back to the house eventually, he told himself as he passed the third liquor store on the block. Not that they ever notice you’re even gone, but you gotta sleep.

As if his body realized how tired it was, his feet guided him to an empty bench built into the side of a large, concrete fountain. He collapsed onto the cool, cracked stone, his senses searching the area for any worrying sounds or more suspicious shadows. Satisfied that he was alone, he let himself relax, and his shoulders slumped deeper into the warmth of his jacket.

He blended into the night, becoming another insignificant speck of human dust in the polluted river of humanity that flowed down Cedar Ave.

Other fractured souls eventually shuffled past, some muttering to themselves, others whispering into covered cell phones or murmuring fleshly offers to passersby, but no one noticed his still figure lying quietly on the stone bench. As he watched them pass, his mind clicked off the number of other streets in other cities like this one he’d occupied on other cold nights.

Sixteen years on this earth—a different city every other year. And probably another two more to go before I graduate. Then it’d be time to follow in his father’s footsteps and enlist. Joining the military had never been his dream, but Ravi knew he wasn’t allowed the luxury of a dream. Dreams meant choices, and choices weren’t something he’d ever been given.

A furtive movement across the street caught his eye.

Outside a closed pawn shop, a small figure in an oversized bomber jacket hunched in front of the shop’s barred windows, a hand extended to one of the metal bars.

Ravi picked up on the sound of grating bumping rhythmically against glass, almost indistinguishable against the hum of nightlife surging around him. His ears honed in on the tap, tap, tap of metal knocking against glass and grinding against stone as the bar rocked back and forth with each jiggle of the figure’s hand. He watched the bar fall away from the window and clatter to the ground.

The figure jumped.

Ravi could make out the features of a man wearing dark sunglasses (sunglasses to block out the moon?) and sporting a shapeless goatee that almost reached to his chest.

As though sensing eyes on him, the man swiveled his head in Ravi’s direction, and Ravi could feel the gaze behind the sunglasses lock onto his.

He didn’t blink…didn’t move.

Seconds passed as the man stared at him. Slowly, the man lifted a finger to his lips and nodded. Turning back to the window, he grabbed another bar, and the tap, tap, tap resumed its melody on the wind.

Ravi melded into the passing time as he watched the man maneuver bar after bar from the pawn shop window. He was eternal, like the minutes that ticked by, flowing forward into a predetermined destiny—unable to turn back, unable to alter its course. Existing, acknowledged, but never free to step outside of what it was.

A police car slowly made its way up the street.

As it neared Ravi, his eyes darted to the pawn shop, and he noted the now-barless window cracked open just wide enough for a small body to pass through. He watched the dark sedan approach, inching closer to the spot where he lay, and he again scanned the shop for signs of movement.

A small head poked through the open window and froze. The dark lenses of the sunglasses fixed on Ravi, and he saw a set of clearly defined choices laid before him in its obscure depths.

He returned his gaze to the car, barely breathing as it passed by. He saw two policemen in the front seat, each lifting a coffee cup to moving lips and staring straight ahead. He shot another glance at the sunglasses peering out through the shop window.

The police.

Sunglasses.

Police.

Darkness.

Law.

Life.

He turned his head to stare at the sidewalk as the car cruised past him to disappear into the distance. Out of the corner or his eye, he observed the figure cautiously emerge through the window and drop to the ground.

Enough. It’s time to go back.

He pushed himself up from the fountain bench, not bothering to brush the dust and grime from his jeans. Staring at his dirt-streaked boots, he wondered whether he should tie their laces before making the long trek back to the base. When a crumpled fifty-dollar-bill suddenly appeared before his face, he lifted his eyes to meet his own image reflected in a pair of black lenses.

The owner of the sunglasses nodded at Ravi and shoved the money into his hand. He then turned away and ambled off, no words said.

Staring after the man, Ravi smoothed the bill against his leg and slid it into his jacket pocket. Shoulders hunched, he strolled back in the direction he had come, boot laces trailing against the pavement with each step. As he neared the first liquor store on the block, his footsteps slowed.

The homeless man from earlier in the evening had made a new home among the trashcans outside of the store. He looked at Ravi, his eyes shining like two full moons. “P-please,” the man begged, hands extended.

For the first time, Ravi looked at the man. He took in the tattered clothing, the ratty hair. He noticed the man’s strong scent stinging his eyes like ammonia. How’d you end up here? he wondered. What choices did you make?

His hand slipped into his pocket to finger the newfound stash nesting there. Turning away, he blocked the homeless man from his mind and continued down the street.

Choices.

Good thing I don’t have ‘em.

Stay tuned to read more about Ravi and where this turn in life takes him in Misfits Rising…